Crafty…like an interior designer. You thought I was gonna say fox, didn’t you?

August 24, 2011 § Leave a comment

I really wish I was crafty.  And I mean that in a cutesy, aesthetic, could-have-my-own-design blog kind of way.  Instead, I’m crafty in a gluey, sticky, messy, kindergarten-y kind of way.  I mean, when I’m done with my creation, you couldn’t tell if a 23yr old did it or a 5yr old.  I’m sure this makes me awesome at my job, but not so awesome in real life.

I want to have a craft table with a sewing machine and fabrics and stationery and fabric paint and mosaic tiles.  I want organizers for all my scrapbooking things and paisley patterned idea boxes.  I want to walk in my home knowing that I single-handedly painted a mural on my walls and reupholstered my parlor chair and built a bookshelf for storage at the end of my hall.

But I don’t have any of it.  And it’s probably a good thing because not only am I not crafty, I’m also not cleanly, and chances are my cute table would be overrun with manuscript papers, dirty clothes, and tidbits of things that don’t yet have a home.

(Actually, if I did have a craft table, I imagine I would end up collecting things like plastic beads and glitter and heart-shaped doilies and lots of markers.  Yeah, I really am going to be awesome at my job.)

I’m just one of those aesthetic writers.  You know, the type who can’t keep an 850 sq ft apartment clean but the words on her messy manuscript pages are correctly ordered and pleasing to the eye.  I’m the type that can’t keep up with the laundry spilling out of her hamper, and the type that would rather go buy new clothes than wash the ones she has, but my books are perfectly arranged in color and I can tell you the exact title and the author’s name of each one.  I’m the type that can’t come up with a spur of the moment lesson plan for her students but I can wake up knowing exactly what I want a paragraph to say in one of my essays.

It’s just as well.  I’d probably give a bad name to crafters everywhere.


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